Posted : 2 hours ago

great-and-small:

great-and-small:

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I am constantly thinking about this

This mild Wikipedia sentence is like the understatement of all time

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Here are some crazy grasshopper mouse facts for those who are not familiar with the most badass mouse species on the planet

- They are primarily carnivorous, and their diet is made up of not only bugs but also snakes, lizards and other mice.

- They hunt like true predators, slowly stalking and creeping up on their prey before ambushing them. They will sometimes let out a screech as they attack.

- Like wolves, they howl to establish territory and have a specially developed throat to produce louder vocalizations. They will stand up on their hind legs and throw their head back to howl- a sound that can be heard from 100 meters away!

- Grasshopper mouse behavior is linked to lunar cycles and they are more active during a full moon.

- These mice have been hunting bark scorpions and evolving alongside them for so long that they’ve evolved a mutation where scorpion venom that is lethal to other animals is converted into a painkiller in the grasshopper mouse’s body.

Posted : 12 hours ago

cowboy:

cowboy:

I fucking hate riddles they’re always like “I take all my clothes off every night. When I go to bed, I am fully clothed. How is this possible??” And then the answers like “I put on my clothes again before I go to bed.” Fuck off cunt

Jesus chrsit I get it the batman is having gay sex with the riddler or whatever you can stop putting tags on this post now

parad0xymoron:

parad0xymoron:

had a fascinating dream last night where there was a new, virally popular trading card game - it was called MOUNTAIN (stylised in all caps) and the whole gimmick was that you couldn’t buy boosters or anything - you had to find them?

nowhere sold MOUNTAIN - I mean, I expect players did, once cards were in their hands.

but acquiring cards meant noticing a box lying around, and just….nabbing it? they’d be in weird places - in a skip, wedged high up in a fence, nestled in the branches of a tree? nobody ever saw who left them there, and there was a lot of debate about how MOUNTAIN boxes were sometimes hard to acquire without risking one’s physical safety - but then, that was also bragging rights. especially as harder-to-reach boxes seemed to contain more elusive and sought after cards…

no, I don’t remember anything about the actual gameplay, we never played any MOUNTAIN. alas. I know there were “frame cards” that were literally transparent but for a fancy metallic or holographic border, which I guess upgraded the card they were applied to? frames were super rare, my coworker literally ran up to me in the pub purely to show off the frame he’d just found

dream brain gimme the deets on MOUNTAIN’s actual mechanics, I’m invested in this controversial unpurchasable scavenger hunt game

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@cosmemery AHDJFKFKFK I LAUGHED

Posted : 19 hours ago
tags: #mlb

fulda-gap-express:

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who is the Toronto baseball warlock

Posted : 1 day ago

official-amulet-posts:

bonesbeetle:

my thrall told me it wanted to be more independent so i imprisoned its soul in a necklace. how’s that for in de pendant you little shit

official amulet post

Posted : 1 day ago

captain-price-unofficially:

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Welcome to a new age of predictive text.

Posted : 2 days ago

wizardarchetypes:

wizardarchetypes:

thinking about the time also with some former roommates where one of them half jokingly was like “man i love monday because the kitchen is always spotless because Story cleans it on sunday” and i was like “what are you talking about” and they were like “you deep clean the kitchen every sunday?” and i was like “? no i don’t i have absolutely no idea what you mean.”

we went back and forth for 30 seconds and it got awkward really fast because it turns out all my other roommates thought i just had a compulsive need or some sort of desire to deep clean the kitchen every sunday and they just left me to it.

when in reality i was meal prepping for the entire week every sunday and when i finished i cleaned up after myself obviously—wiped the counters down, scraped gunk off the stove, scrubbed the sink, and swept the floor.

took me 10 minutes but always left it looking great.

then i didn’t use the kitchen the whole rest of the week because i’d just grab my prepped meals in the morning and go out for all-day fieldwork.

but apparently nobody else ever cleaned up after themselves at all when they cooked. like they’d just leave food on the stove and counters and drop shit on the floor etc. and not clean it up so they thought every monday morning the kitchen was “deep cleaned” simply bc there wasn’t old food on every surface.

i was like, “………..i’ve noticed the kitchen is always messy when i use it on sundays but i’ve always figured someone just used it and didn’t get around to cleaning it up yet and i didn’t mind because i’m always about to make a mess anyway…………y'all just use the kitchen like that all week?”

and one of the guys (very funny, i liked him) looked around and realized I was the only woman* (*closeted at the time) living there and he went “this is really bad, like, optics wise.”

“I love it when you deep clean”

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Posted : 4 days ago
tags: #pokemon #cute….

angrykittenz62:

crimson-sun:

Welcome to JTV Pokecenter! Please ensure your pokemon are in a carrier, on a leash, or in their pokeballs at all times. Thank you!

Your friendly neighbourhood veterinary clinic is probably the closest thing in real life to a pokemon center, eh? So here are some pics of a few of my patients re-imagined as pokemon. I’ve been meaning to do a mashup like this for a while, but now seems a particularly relevant time.

(And if you ever visit our little clinic with your real life critters, I’ll check out your pokemon as well for free! ;) )

@cyberdragoninfinity

Posted : 1 week ago

computerbugstudios:

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Happy Godzilla Day!

Posted : 1 week ago

macbethz:

Hey, it’s me, your English teacher from the beginning of the movie who read a passage that would become thematically relevant later while you stared longingly out the window. I noticed since you came back from your magical quest you’ve been even more listless that usual. Yeah I know about that. We usually have about one or two every semester, so I try to cater my curriculum to the current supernatural crisis so you can remember some appropriate words from classic literature at the right moment in the plot. It’s kind of a thankless job but the world’s still here so I’m not doing too bad haha. That was a joke you can laugh. Anyway I know I’ve kind of taken on a mentor role for you because of your lack of stable father figure but just wanted to let you know that I am a mandated reporter so please don’t tell me if you’re thinking about killing yourself

Posted : 1 week ago

wordfather:

doctor diagnosed me with oc sickness in the brain; the ocs will spin around in my brain forever and ever

Posted : 1 week ago
tags: #glade

7pin:

*gives you a dirty look and adjusts my doubly-feathered tricorn hat*

Posted : 1 week ago
tags: #ygo

chronophobica:

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* Blue Eyes White Dragon flies down!

Posted : 1 week ago
waistdeepcat:
“whatcoloristhatcat:
“black mackerel tortoiseshell tabby (torbie) with low white spotting
”
ƃuᴉʇʇods ǝʇᴉɥʍ ʍol ɥʇᴉʍ (ǝᴉqɹoʇ) ʎqqɐʇ llǝɥsǝsᴉoʇɹoʇ lǝɹǝʞɔɐɯ ʞɔɐlq
”

waistdeepcat:

whatcoloristhatcat:

black mackerel tortoiseshell tabby (torbie) with low white spotting

ƃuᴉʇʇods ǝʇᴉɥʍ ʍol ɥʇᴉʍ (ǝᴉqɹoʇ) ʎqqɐʇ llǝɥsǝsᴉoʇɹoʇ lǝɹǝʞɔɐɯ ʞɔɐlq